YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN DENMARK TOO LONG, WHEN:

You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.

You think is impolite to sit next to someone in a bus if there is a bench where you can sit on your own.

You go to the supermarket and buy three good beers and 10 not too good ones.

You can open a beer bottle with almost anything.

You honestly believe that the distance between Copenhagen and Aalborg is long.

You can tell the difference between a Grøn Tuborg and a Carlsberg beer

The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc.
is to look for the queue number machine.

When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
>>a. he is drunk;
>>b. he is insane;
>>c. he is American;
>>d. he is all of the above.

Silence is fun.

It no longer seems excessive to spend 800 kr. on alcohol in a single night.

You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed".

You use "Mmmm" as conversation filler.

You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank

Traditional dinners may not necessarily mean a cooked meal.

You forget how to open canned beer.

Can't remember when to say "please" and "excuse me".

You will leave a pub if you can't find a seat.

You don't mind paying the same for a 200-metre bus ride as you do for going 10 kms.

You don't look twice at businessmen in dark suits wearing white sport socks.

You find yourself more interested in the alcohol content than the name of the wine.

You know the meaning of life has something to do with the word "hyggelig".

You don't think it strange that no one ever comes by to visit without being invited and you never show up at any one's place unannounced either.

You find yourself lighting candles when you have guests - even if it is brightly sunny outside and 20 degrees.

There is a new online milkbar specialising in shipping all the good things from downunder to expats all over the world. For more info. www.tomisource.com.au

A great job database for English speakers.
Jobs in Copenhagen

There's a Kiwi rugby fan, an Australian rugby fan and a beautiful woman sitting next to each other on a train.

The train enters a tunnel and everything gets dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The woman and the Kiwi are sitting there looking perplexed. The Kiwi is bent over holding his face which is red from an apparent slap.

The Kiwi is thinking, "That Australian must have tried to kiss this lady, she thought it was me and slapped me."

The lady was thinking, "That Kiwi must have moved to kiss me and kissed the Australian instead and got slapped."

The Australian was thinking to himself.... "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap that Kiwi in the head again."

When their car broke down a Jew, an Indian and an Australian knocked on a farmer's door to ask for accommodation for the night. "I only have room for two, one of you will have to sleep in the barn," said the farmer. "Alright, I will," said the Jew.
But 5 minutes later there was a knock at the door. "There's a pig in the barn, I can't sleep in there," said the Jew. "Okay, I'll go," said the Indian.
Five minutes later there was a knock on the door. "There is an un-sacred cow in the barn," he said. "No worries mate, I'll go," said the Australian.
Five minutes later there was yet another knock at the door. It was the pig and cow!!!

Our Lager
Which art in barrels
Hallowed be thy drink
Thy will be drunk ( I will be drunk )
At home as if in tavern
Give us this day our foamy head
And forgive us our spillage's
As we forgive those who spill against us
And lead us not to incarceration
But deliver us from hangovers
For thine is the beer, the bitter, the lager
For ever and ever....

Barmen

hi there
My name is Emily from Sydney and yes I am another Aussie about to move to Denmark at the start of April!

I'm thinking a few beers with some fellow Aussies & Kiwis might be a good starting point for my next adventure! When is the next SCC pub night being held in April and where? Also does much happen in Denmark over Easter?

Tak
Emily