Splash

Macron in Australia

At the end of the French President's visit to Australia as a good Frenchman he wanted to compliment his host Malcolm Turnbull's wife: "Thank you and your delicious wife for your warm welcome". Lady Turnbull decided not to comment. The French word "delicieux" has a rather wider meaning than the English "delicious".
Simon

Posted in Humor by SCC Committee on 04.12.18 Hits: 3065 Comments: 0

Kea Gym!

Cameras at Homer Tunnel caught kea moving traffic cones around! So the answer was to build a gym for them to try and keep them off the road!
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11973416

Simon

Posted in Humor by SCC Committee on 18.01.18 Hits: 3830 Comments: 0

Dumb and Dumber

More evidence supporting that Kiwis are the "worst behaved visitors"!

DUM OG DUMMERE!
PÅ FLUGT I AUSTRALIEN
(On escape in Australia)

Two NZ prisoners have committed just about the dumbest escape ever. The two prisoners were linked together with handcuffs when they attempted to escape from a courthouse. The escape went unnoticed until they met a lightpole which they ran on each side of, whereupon they collided into each other on the other side and fell similtaneosly on the ground. Consequently they were taken by the police.

Source: DK Urban 30-1-09




Posted in Humor by Christopher Mark Salce on 01.02.09 Hits: 11693 Comments: 1

New Tune for Advance Australia Fair

Since it is Australia Day, I thought it would be a good time to share this with everybody. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiEycVMKoJo

Posted in Humor by Dale Shelton on 26.01.09 Hits: 6950 Comments: 0

Maybe it is funny because I am Australian

One Kiwi says to another:
"hey bro, what's a Hindu?"

The second Kiwi replies
"lays eggs bro"


Posted in Humor by Dale Shelton on 25.11.08 Hits: 7452 Comments: 1

Australian Citizenship Test

NEW AUSTRALIAN CITIZENSHIP TEST
-Some question proposals ;)

Read more...
Posted in Humor by Dale Shelton on 15.01.08 Hits: 19548 Comments: 0

Have I been living in DK too long????

YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN DENMARK TOO LONG, WHEN:

You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.

You think is impolite to sit next to someone in a bus if there is a bench where you can sit on your own.

You go to the supermarket and buy three good beers and 10 not too good ones.

You can open a beer bottle with almost anything.

You honestly believe that the distance between Copenhagen and Aalborg is long.

You can tell the difference between a Grøn Tuborg and a Carlsberg beer

The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc.
is to look for the queue number machine.

When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
>>a. he is drunk;
>>b. he is insane;
>>c. he is American;
>>d. he is all of the above.

Silence is fun.

It no longer seems excessive to spend 800 kr. on alcohol in a single night.

You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed".

You use "Mmmm" as conversation filler.

You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank

Traditional dinners may not necessarily mean a cooked meal.

You forget how to open canned beer.

Can't remember when to say "please" and "excuse me".

You will leave a pub if you can't find a seat.

You don't mind paying the same for a 200-metre bus ride as you do for going 10 kms.

You don't look twice at businessmen in dark suits wearing white sport socks.

You find yourself more interested in the alcohol content than the name of the wine.

You know the meaning of life has something to do with the word "hyggelig".

You don't think it strange that no one ever comes by to visit without being invited and you never show up at any one's place unannounced either.

You find yourself lighting candles when you have guests - even if it is brightly sunny outside and 20 degrees.


Posted in Humor by Dale Shelton on 26.03.07 Hits: 13902 Comments: 0

Aussie/Kiwi rugby fan

There's a Kiwi rugby fan, an Australian rugby fan and a beautiful woman sitting next to each other on a train.

The train enters a tunnel and everything gets dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The woman and the Kiwi are sitting there looking perplexed. The Kiwi is bent over holding his face which is red from an apparent slap.

The Kiwi is thinking, "That Australian must have tried to kiss this lady, she thought it was me and slapped me."

The lady was thinking, "That Kiwi must have moved to kiss me and kissed the Australian instead and got slapped."

The Australian was thinking to himself.... "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap that Kiwi in the head again."

Posted in Humor by Matt on 12.03.07 Hits: 7796 Comments: 0

Beer prayer


Our Lager
Which art in barrels
Hallowed be thy drink
Thy will be drunk ( I will be drunk )
At home as if in tavern
Give us this day our foamy head
And forgive us our spillage's
As we forgive those who spill against us
And lead us not to incarceration
But deliver us from hangovers
For thine is the beer, the bitter, the lager
For ever and ever....

Barmen



Posted in Humor by Matt on 12.03.07 Hits: 7793 Comments: 0